I thought I was done with the dating world when I got
married, but then I became a mom and it started all over again. I needed to
make mom-friends. I became a stay-at-home mom when I had my baby, so it wasn’t
like I was going to be meeting anyone at work. I wanted friends who could
relate to my life and would ignore the spit up stains on my clothes. I soon
realized that finding other mom friends is hard. Not only is it difficult to
find another mom that you can talk to about nap time, potty training, and
pregnancy, but it’s nearly impossible (at least it seemed for me) to find a mom
that you can talk to about your fears, dreams, and struggles. It feels like
dating all over again, but in the mom-world, which is a bit tougher to find a
connection since you’re usually having conversations in between chasing kids
down.
Published in Tremonton Leader in May 2017 and also on powerofmoms.com in May 2019
I remember asking my sister how to ask for another mom’s
number and when to ask them for a playdate. I mean, you can’t come right out
and say “hey, you look totally normal and our babies are the same age. What’s
your number? Do you want to come over? Actually, let’s just be best friends.” I
felt like such a stalker watching moms at the park with kids about the same age
as mine. I’d slowly send my child in their direction and strike up a
conversation about how cute their kid was. If all went well, then one thing
would lead to another and we’d exchange numbers, but most of the time I would
get too shy and it would end with an “it was nice to meet you.”
The first time I actually had the guts to ask another mom
for her number, I felt like I had just told someone I had a crush on them. We
had a lot in common and I thought we could be good friends, so that 10 seconds
waiting for her response felt like an eternity, but then she gave it to me!
Turns out, getting her number was nothing compared to when it came to sending
the very first text. I had to figure out how to be fun, cool, and friendly all
in one simple text. After much deliberating with my husband, I settled with “Hey,
it’s Kyla. Would you be interested in going to story time this Wednesday?” She
agreed! After having our first playdate, I was thrown into the world of “do you
think she likes me as much as I like her.” I felt like I was in elementary
school again trying to navigate this new territory. Fortunately, we became
friends and since then, I’ve learned quite a bit about mom-dating.
I’ve found one big thing that changes everything, open your
mouth! I hate small talk as much as the next gal, but if it helps me make
friends, I’ll do it. Another thing I’ve learned is that you have to leave your
house! Of course we can’t make friends by sitting home alone. I had to start
going to things like story time, the park, or the mall. Lastly, it makes a
world of difference when you remember that most all moms feel this way, knowing
that we’re all in it together, makes mom-dating just a little less scary.
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