For the past few months I’ve felt like my to-do list is
never ending. I just keep adding tasks and projects to my list and I hardly
ever cross anything off of it. The house won’t stay clean, my pictures won’t
organize themselves, and I have yet to start putting together a nursery for my
baby due in August. I literally feel like I’m a hamster on a wheel; I keep
moving, but I never actually get anywhere. I tend to get frustrated every night when I
feel like all I have to show for the day are more dishes in the sink and absurdly
swollen feet.
Over the last three weeks I have started making more time
for me, just me. I listened to a podcast that talked about life balance. It
mentioned making time for five things each week that bring only joy into your
life. It specifically talked about doing things that make you happy, not your
spouse, not your kids, just you. After sitting down and making a list of simple
things that bring joy into my life, I decided to actually schedule time each
week (or daily) to make them happen. I’ve made a point to take more baths, go
outside more often, have some alone time, exercise, and read or listen to
something educational.
I’m the type of person who writes down already completed
tasks on my to-do list just because I like the feeling of crossing something
off of it, in other words, I’m not exactly the “relaxing type”. So, making time
for me was surprisingly easier said than done. The first few days of living
this new lifestyle started out with a bucket full of guilt. The moment I’d get
my daughter down for a nap, I would immediately think of all the things I
needed to get done over the next two hours: clean the kitchen, eat some lunch,
do laundry, and sort through baby clothes. I had to consciously tell myself, “You
are going to take a bath and read a book”. I would choose the “me time”, but I
had a hard time not feeling guilty for all the things I could be (or should be)
doing during that time.
Slowly but surely, I was able to accept that not only did I
need this time, but I deserved this time. I learned to focus on being present in the
moment and to not let my mind stress over my to-do list. Now I can tell you
that my to-do list is just as long (or longer) than it was a few weeks ago and
my house is still a mess, but I feel so much more balanced. Filling my life
with tasks that are purely joyful for me has helped me to be a more relaxed and
happy person. I plan to continue to consciously make an effort to fill my weeks
with at least five things that bring joy into my life and hope to feel even
more balanced in the future.
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