I was a perfect parent… before I had kids.


I recently read a quote that said, “Your first child teaches you to love motherhood. Your second child teaches you not to judge other mothers.” I was a perfect parent… before I had kids.

Before I had kids, I imagined that I would never take my kid to the grocery store at 10PM. I would never wait until 5pm to brush my teeth for the first time that day. Before I had kids, I never thought that I would let my kids have binkies, let them stay in pajamas all day, or let them watch Finding Dory on repeat. Before I had kids, I imagined that I would make a perfectly prepared dinner each night which would include all of the healthy food groups. I never thought that I would be so grateful for a Costco size box of dinosaur chicken nuggets. Before I had kids, I had parenting figured out. Then I had one baby, and it was hard, but then I had two, and my life was flipped upside down.

My second baby was so hard. I only have two kids so far, but I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that my second will be my hardest baby I’ll ever have (hopefully). She cried… and cried… and cried for months. She would cry for hours on end. This was the time in my life when I found out that sometimes survival mode is the best thing you can do. My two-year-old (at the time) was also tired of the crying, so I whipped out the chicken nuggets, turned on the TV, and we just tried to stay sane.

In this day and age, we have so many choices to make as parents, and backlash for whichever ones we choose. Breastfeed or bottlefeed. Rock them to sleep or let them cry it out. Binky or no binky. The list goes on and on. Whichever you choose, there are people who strongly disagree with your decision.

My kids have a great life. Their bellies are full, they have clothes that fit, and they are happy. They have parents that love them and a roof over their head. For the most part, that’s all that matters. They don’t need to go to Disneyland, or have the most stylish outfits, or learn three languages to have the “picture perfect” childhood.

Being a mother can be hard at times, and it can be even harder when you have people rooting against you. We need to build each other up. Support each other in whatever decision we make. Lend a helping hand or a listening ear. I think it’s important to take a step back and realize that we’re all doing the best we can and that it’s enough. Nobody is perfect, and we’re not supposed to be, because how boring of a life would it be if we were?

 Published in the Tremonton Leader in October 2018



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